The desire to unburden ourselves of anything that hurts can lead to the misuse of various religious/spiritual practices as escape mechanisms. And, when we simply try to escape what is really there and hurts, might we be cutting ourselves off from the possibility of life-giving change that wants to happen?

I wonder, is this prevailing desire to escape from everything that hurts or suffers a kind of natural reaction to the shaming, exiling, and harsh judgments that arose from aspects or interpretations of various belief systems that held sway for way too long historically?

Whatever the reason, I am sure there is a good reason parts of us want to avoid painful feelings and thoughts… AND, I don’t want to exile the beautiful parts of me that want suffering to stop. Nor do I want you to. But, ironically, the idea that we should always be happy and grateful or that we must somehow give all our suffering over to God or we aren’t doing life right IS ALSO an exiling condemnation of real things experienced within us, real suffering that happens in us and the world.

Here is a way through….a “Focusing” way….

Before you engage in a meditation or prayer practice, pause and check within… Is there a part of you that is trying to, wanting to escape the weight and pain of a real problem or situation?

Invite that part of you to show up….in whatever way it is at the moment…

Check if you feel it somewhere in your body..for example, a constricting feeling in your throat, or words that accuse (“I can’t feel this…I have to give this over to God”) or a desire to watch the hurting feelings float by like clouds…

Don’t judge it…describe it with as many words as you can…

Acknowledge and greet it….a sort of inner “Ohhh yes..I know you are there.”

Ask it what it would like you to know about it……

And then really listen to understand……..

You might even say to this part of you, “No wonder you want to escape all the painful things or heaviness about this situation…”

Check how it responds to that acknowledgement….

You might also say to it, “What are you not wanting to happen if I have to feel this pain..anger..fear..hurt?”

This is a starting place…where we can come into relationship with something that is so worried about what might happen to us if we allowed ourselves to feel the hurt, anger, pain that is there about any life situation.

And…there is so much more….so please contact me for a session if you would like to work more with this.