‘If it still feels bad, it isn’t the last step,’ paraphrasing Gene Gendlin. This rings true for me. But we often give up too soon because it is uncomfortable to accompany thoughts and feelings that disquiet us. Yet, these are the places in us that are crying out that something different needs to happen. These are the frontiers of real change. What good does it do us to just watch them pass over us like clouds? Mindfulness watches them, but Focusing accompanies them and listens to them (this does not imply agreement –we don’t have to do what they say–they are parts of us, but only parts–these hurting ones). In the process of Focusing we listen to what they have to tell us–validating that they arose for a reason–sort of the way a toothache tells us we need to see a dentist. Only when all our voices feel truly heard and acknowledged, can we discern new steps to take in our life..and only when these places feel truly heard can they change and shift of their own accord. Supressing them or exiling them doesn’t work–it just makes them louder. Focusing, the process, doesn’t claim to bring us to nirvana in an instant, but rather, one courageous step at a time.